Each time I see the preview for Disney's new film "G-Force" I think to myself: incredible, this is the watered-down, family-friendly version of We3.

Wouldn't it be amazing if moviegoers attended the film expecting Disney and instead received Grant Morrison?

Happy birthday to Derek Jeter! He turns 35 today and he's having an amazing season for hits, runs, stolen bases, and defense. Here's to many more!

I'd like to display this top five list with little commentary but nyah nyah nyah.

Top Five Players with Most GIDP

1 Cal Ripken 350
2 Hank Aaron 328
3 Carl Yastrzemski 323
4 Dave Winfield 319
5 Eddie Murray 316

Derek Jeter's GIDP number as of this point in his fourteenth major league season: 203. Even if he goes on a tear during his final seasons and jumps above 315 he's in good company. So when someone tries to make you think a player isn't good due to GIDP numbers they're likely grasping at straws to defuse your impeccable arguments and taste. It might frustrate you in a game, but in the end it doesn't diminish a player's worth.

Since the David Ortiz/Brett Gardner home run race lost its sizzle after Ortiz leapt ahead of Gardner's two home runs* with a big, whopping third and fourth last week, I think it's time for a new Big Papi rivalry.

I declare 2009 the year of THE DROPPED POP-UP RIVALRY BETWEEN ALEX RODRIGUEZ AND DAVID ORTIZ!

As you all should know, last week Friday saw Alex Rodriguez deliver a new intangible: hitting an un-catchable, almost un-trackable pop-up which allowed two baserunners to score and won the game 9-8.

In last night's game against the Florida Marlins, David Ortiz started off the fifth inning by popping up to third and his soul cried out anguish.


"View this cruel sight, world! This is a man buckling under the weight of the heavens and the expectations of a Nation. See how he falls! This is so much more dramatic than breaking your bat and jogging to first base."

But then the Marlins' third baseman Emilio Bonifacio dropped the ball and Ortiz made his way to first. I haven't seen the footage yet so I'm curious about how long he stood at the plate in agony and whether or not someone had to push him to first base to get there safely.

But the danger has arisen anyway as Ortiz has had the audacity to tie A-Rod for dropped pop-ups. Well, little does he know that the Yankees are playing the Marlins this weekend! That's three games for A-Rod to get his chance to pop-up to Bonifacio.

He'll be ready, Ortiz. You've paved the way for him to best you while you squandered your series against the Mets by having a total of 0 pop-ups dropped by Luis Castillo.

Watch yourself!

*To be fair, Gardner's inside-the-park homer is something we will never see this year from Ortiz unless zombies come pouring out of the stands and rip off the arms of all the outfielders and infielders and probably the pitcher and catcher as well as all the benched players of the opposing team.

First Subway Series of 2009.

It's the bottom of the ninth and the Mets are up 8-7. K-Rod comes out to make the save for the Mets.

The Yankees start with the bottom of the order, Brett Gardner. Easy out for a man like K-Rod.

The top of the lineup, Derek Jeter, comes to the plate. Amazingly, even though nothing this man does should surprise us anymore, he gets a base hit. Okay. So we have the tying run on base with one out against K-Rod.

I'm still shaking and going through all my nervous tics.

Johnny Damon pinch hits for Nick Swisher. Damon wasn't in the game due to eye problems and fatigue in the past few.

I'm now sweating.

Damon works the count well considering he's not at his best and whom he's facing. He strikes out while Jeter steals second base.

Mark Teixeira comes up. Two outs now. Tex has become so integral to the Yankees and so natural that it feels like he's with the team a lot longer than less than half a season. He's an amazing hitter who can constantly be counted on to do something with the ball. Now that we've left April behind us, mind you.

This time, Tex holds back on K-Rod's feel-out pitches. He gets three balls and Mets manager Manuel gives the go ahead to walk Tex. That makes sense. K-Rod is good but pitching to Tex on a hitter's count is too dangerous with a one run lead.

That brings up A-Rod. (A-Rod faces K-Rod, Michael Kay inventively informs us.) Now we're still at two outs but with first and second manned.

By this point my heart is fluttering but I'm trying to play it cool. A-Rod isn't anywhere near his usual standards. He's been doing good but good is not where A-Rod peaks. Still, inside this A-Rod with a low batting average is the 'best baseball player in the world' as they like to say (or liked to say) who could come out and strike at any moment.

A-Rod doesn't go down easy but finally it comes. The most dreaded of hits in this situation.

Alex Rodriguez pops it up.

We all feel it. He slams his bat into the ground while performing the ritual run to first base. I'm torn between empathizing with him and wanting to shake him in order to get him back to greatness quicker.

The coverage quickly moves to the Mets' second baseman Castillo. He follows the ball and opens his mitt to end the game and give NYY a four-game losing streak. I know I should just walk away but you've got see the last out. You just do.

Here comes the ball.

In the glove.

AND RIGHT BACK OUT OF IT.

Derek Jeter scores. Mark Teixeira runs his ass off and reaches home safely. The Yankees win. I'm sure that John Sterling is warbling for his life in the Bronx.

A-Rod freaks the hell out. Like you do. The boys all jumble together in the way you only see on a walk-off win.

I think Yankee fans across the globe just wore out their vocal chords with all the screaming and laughing.

When something as magical as that happens, the entire game disappears. All the mistakes, concerns, frustrations, previous losses...there is only the win. The comeback, walk-off, out-of-nowhere, mystifying, glorious, all-powerful, the be-all and end-all W.

God bless The Mets!

(I just had to share for those of you who were not tuned in.)

What is it about Sarah Palin that brings out the raging misogyny in the majority of the population?

No matter what you think of her values, policies, and lifestyle--no matter how much her actions and opinions might offend you--that doesn't give anyone a free pass to demean her in the most sexist and horrifying terms. She doesn't deserve it. Neither do any of her children.

She's certainly not asking for it.

Next time try using your intelligence to deconstruct what bothers you. Otherwise, keep your fingers off the keyboard and go take a logic class.

(I would now like the internet to be rebooted now so I don't have to point out the painfully obvious.)

And I don't believe in life after love.

Found via Subway Squawkers:



That would never have happened if he was still married to MJ.

I was the only person who laughed in the movie theater when Olson was squeeing for the mission with Kirk and Sulu. That is so wrong!

( My review. Warning for incoherency and CAPS. )

....holy crap.

From a fan Q&A with Joba Chamberlain on March 21, 2009:

Ruthie writes: Are there any TV shows you watch religiously?

Joba: “TV shows I watch religiously? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”

Me: “That’s not on any more.”

Joba: “Yes it is. It's re-runs. But I don’t care, I’ve seen them all."

Joba Chamberlain and Andre Ethier BFF?

So, kissing Nick Swisher wasn't enough for A.J. Burnett.

Now he has a hand in Swish's grooming!

Nick Swisher got a haircut this week, which might not be worth mentioning if it were anyone but Swisher. But Swisher does everything at high volume, with a witty line or two, and this was no different.

A. J. Burnett introduced him to a Toronto hair stylist Swisher called Zohan, after a blow-dryer-wielding character in an Adam Sandler movie. The haircut is short on the sides, spiky on the top and long — but not too long — in the back. He calls it a Swish-hawk, but Johnny Damon had another name for it: the Brian Boz, as in Bosworth, the 1980s linebacker with a distinctive haircut and little N.F.L. success.

(It's actually a very adorable haircut, though the description makes it sound half-mullet. It's a completely no mullet style.)

No doubt Swisher mentioned his desire for a new 'do to his teammates and if he did it while they were headed to Toronto then it would make perfect sense for A.J. to give him a recommendation as he played for the Blue Jays before signing onto the Yanks.

But I prefer to imagine an afternoon in which A.J. takes Swish out and stands over him with the hairstylist as they both ponder his adorableness and face structure before finally deciding on a new style for him. Swish is of course pleased and grateful. "Thanks, man. You're such a great friend!"

A.J.: Friends, right.
Swish: :D :D :D
A.J. *heartbreak*

nyyankees_daily

Tell your friends! Tell yourself! Because everyone needs a little Yankees in their day. Why, you ask? I just so happen to have a list:

1. Yanks Amazed by White House Tour

"BALTIMORE -- The Yankees' tour group was about to set up for a photo opportunity on the White House's South Lawn on Tuesday, when 7-year-old Sasha Obama dashed to her jungle gym with two blocky Secret Service agents in tow.

In a flash, the Yankees' cameras were holstered, as the group was ushered off to a more restricted area."

I can't decide whether this is Sasha Fierce pwning the Yankees or the Yankees being awesome and probably fangirling the youngest Ms. Obama. Either way, I would like to vote for Nick Swisher as Sasha's new babysitter. Because he's one of the best things about baseball right now.

2. Nick Swisher gets the first on-camera kiss in the New Yankee stadium! This video should be rewatched dozens of times to be fully appreciated. If you want to skip to 1:40 and just keep replaying it, you can tell how Swisher's face lights up when A.J. Burnett walks into his view and he knows something's up and then Burnett kisses him and Swish erupts with manly giggles and cheek wiping for PR. Look, Swisher is #33 and Burnett is #34. It's meant to be! Cute, squishy fielder and lanky, tattooed pitcher. [cue disney love theme]

3. Derek Jeter is the Captain Tight Pants of baseball



4. The Yankees once shared a hotel with a Furry convention.

Most of the players were a little taken aback - Alex Rodriguez was telling Derek Jeter how he got caught in an elevator with nine hissing cats, and thought they might start scratching him -- but Jason Giambi absolutely loved it. Big shocker there. If the Yankees didn't have to get out of town tonight, you get the feeling the Big G would hang out for another night and join the fun.

"Those people are awesome," he said. "Awesome."

(I know Giambi is no longer ours but he was when he encountered furries and that's what matters here.)

5.

Closer Mo Rivera and Catcher Jorge Posada play...well, the Newlywed Game. And Derek Jeter takes the last cookie off the plate.

Last night was amazing.

His first game after hip surgery and A-Rod comes out to make his first hit of the season a 3-run homer. Even better, C.C. Sabathia pitched the entire game without giving up a run. It all almost made up for the previous 5-game losing streak. *happy sigh*



Myspace Glitter Graphics

Without a doubt, that was the sexiest thing Mark Teixeira has done so far for the Yankees. He came up at the bottom of the 8th with 2 outs and the bases loaded. I was nervous as all hell because Tex hasn't been performing well this season (read: he's sucked ass). Oh, and it was pouring rain.

When Tex finally made the hit he broke his bat but managed to power the ball through enough for 3 runs and his own place at second base. Taking the game from 0-3 to a tie.

Sexy? Yes.

Unfortunately for Tex, the Yankees, and I a rain delay had to follow. It stole the passion and momentum completely (well, from everyone but Johnny Damon) and we lost 3-4. But it was such a relief to not only see Tex come through, becoming a real Yankee, but also to see how pissed he was at himself when he hit a flyball to centerfield to make himself the 2nd out in the bottom of the 10th inning.

Because if he's cursing and pounding his helmet then he's visibly relaying that he expects better from himself. We know he can give better. His breakthrough has to be close at hand.

Ms. Clinton is so righteous and intelligent and reasonable. *dreamy sigh*


But because I accidentally clicked on a trailer link at IMDB I've got to point out feminism FAIL. Behold, the trailer to Drag Me to Hell. Summary: Woman tries to get ahead in office. Woman is punished by being tormented by demons and the threat of eternal damnation. Seriously, Raimi?

Last night I, an exhausted fill-in full-timer, went to bed feeling like this:



This morning I woke up and after I checked the scores all I could see was:



So now my day is going to be something like this:

I wasn't watching American Idol (in years) until my brother pestered me into it a few weeks ago. Long story short, I finally understand AI. It's not a difficult concept but I now get it. Why people tune in twice on a weekly basis, why I should miss 'Countdown' and bits of 'The Rachel Maddow Show' in order to see this musical contest. Why anyone would want to spend money on the tour. Or avidly wait for the albums. Or download the songs on iTunes.

Because watching Adam Lambert perform isn't just television. It's an experience. One in which I never sit still.



Yes.

YES.

Watching the rest of the show is almost laughable because Mr. Lambert is a performer and all the others only know how to sing. Although, to be fair, this is music and we all have biases and for my type of music to finally be represented so well makes me squee. Can he just hit it big yesterday and be BFF with Scissor Sisters today?

Also, this picture is relevant to my interests:


I imagine the placement decision went something like this:

"Okay we'll put the moderately heterosexual guy next to Zef, for the ladies, and then we'll have this huge gigantic straight zone before it's safe to have Adam in the back far from His Shagginess so nothing untoward occurs and causes respectable adult women to start writing RPS."










Hi!

I was about to make another unread post about Robert F. Kennedy when I scanned my profile and noticed this:

scans_daily

Even though I stopped frequenting that community when the quality of commentary went downhill and Peter stopped loving MJ I was glad to know that if I ever wondered what was going on with Hal Jordan or if I wanted news on when the Power Girl series was going to finally come out or what Darwyn Cooke was drawing now or curious to see what new Mini Marvels silliness could brighten my day--well, I could just search the tags and find comics joy.

I know it's active on another journal host but the fact that it's been removed from LJ says quite a bit, especially about how far s_d has moved from its founders' dreams.

Farewell, LJ scans_daily! Your archives will be dearly missed!



In brighter news, this would be the best Marvel marketing ploy EVER!

dean_daily

You know you want to join it.

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