culturally explicit images

Game 4 of the 2009 World Series.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:54:27 GMT

So many things went right for the Yankees last night with two outs in the top of the ninth inning but this was the game changer:

What can I say besides: BLESS THE SHIFT! What a perfect storm of using the Phillies' defense against them to win the game.

This is baseball at its best. I don't know if I'm ever going to stop getting emotional when I think about that ninth inning. One for the books, definitely.

Maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 02:42:20 GMT

This is making me laugh until I cry. I know the "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH" is coming but I still start giggling like a loon every time.

My belly hurts and I almost peed my pants AFTER going to the bathroom.

Quick, someone post the comic of Caine taking off his sunglasses to reveal another pair of sunglasses.

THE YANKEES WIN THE PENNANT.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:54:17 GMT

/in love with these men forever

Offered with minimal comment.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:07:27 GMT

Except to say: gods above, why?

Hughes has seen the light.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:51:41 GMT

HAPPY PLAYOFFS, EVERYBODY!

In other fabulous news:

Phil Hughes has shaved. The first thing I said to him was that he had the worse mustache I’d ever seen, to which he laughed. “The worse the better,” he said. Hughes shaved the thing last night. “It was starting to get irritating,” he said.

Via Chad Jennings at LoHud.

ilu Nick Swisher

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 10:26:09 GMT

WHO HAS TWO BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE AND KNOWS HOW TO PARTY?

THIS GUY!

AL EAST CHAMPIONS

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 22:41:00 GMT

Today is a good day for the church of baseball.

Hi.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:18:55 GMT

Nervous Breakdown = cancelled.

Hurrah!

Let's just say that for a while I was all:

But then I was like:

How are you all?

It's only taken years but...

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:02:10 GMT

I think I have a show again.

Everything that is right with the world is in Glee.

Gif made by fight_the_sky

Yankees = best.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 21:38:05 GMT

Joe Girardi on Jeter nearing a milestone:

"He got a standing ovation running sprints in pre-game."

Nick Swisher on speedy outfielder Brett Gardner:

"Fastest white man in America."

A-Rod Cops A Feel

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 18:55:22 GMT

I think last night was Alex Rodriguez's best pop-up adventure yet.

When running one down, he ended up getting a handful of an officer of the law instead. Funniest thing I have seen in a while.

BEST.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 20:46:25 GMT

During the last 50 years, the Yankees have not won a single World Series while a Republican was preisdent.

The article definitely nails it on Eisenhower--that man was the last great Republican leader of the free world. He doesn't count.

And here's my conspiracy theory: the Yanks realized this and had to build a new stadium to rid themselves of the Bush curse. When Obama goes to NY to throw out the first pitch for the World Series this year, a new era of champions will be borne.

ETA: Happy Roster Expansion Day!

Because he's Captain, that's why.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 23:37:24 GMT

Took one look at this picture and had no thought but this:

They see us überrollen. They hatin'.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 14:35:13 GMT

Favorite headline of the day:

Bronx Bombers überrollen Red Sox.

DOMINATION. MYSTIQUE. BROMANCE.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 05:01:51 GMT

Hug it out, bitches. Hug it out.

(Courtesy of xlouder_now)

I never thought I'd say this.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:25:22 GMT

But this morning I love Twitter.

#codyransom! #codyransom! #codyransom!

This is my new happy place.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:50:33 GMT

I am a terrible person

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 01:52:31 GMT

Each time I see the preview for Disney's new film "G-Force" I think to myself: incredible, this is the watered-down, family-friendly version of We3.

Wouldn't it be amazing if moviegoers attended the film expecting Disney and instead received Grant Morrison?

The Baseball Pimp.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:20:19 GMT

Happy birthday to Derek Jeter! He turns 35 today and he's having an amazing season for hits, runs, stolen bases, and defense. Here's to many more!

I'd like to display this top five list with little commentary but nyah nyah nyah.

Top Five Players with Most GIDP

1 Cal Ripken 350
2 Hank Aaron 328
3 Carl Yastrzemski 323
4 Dave Winfield 319
5 Eddie Murray 316

Derek Jeter's GIDP number as of this point in his fourteenth major league season: 203. Even if he goes on a tear during his final seasons and jumps above 315 he's in good company. So when someone tries to make you think a player isn't good due to GIDP numbers they're likely grasping at straws to defuse your impeccable arguments and taste. It might frustrate you in a game, but in the end it doesn't diminish a player's worth.

the eye of the tiger is upon you

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:48:04 GMT

Since the David Ortiz/Brett Gardner home run race lost its sizzle after Ortiz leapt ahead of Gardner's two home runs* with a big, whopping third and fourth last week, I think it's time for a new Big Papi rivalry.

I declare 2009 the year of THE DROPPED POP-UP RIVALRY BETWEEN ALEX RODRIGUEZ AND DAVID ORTIZ!

As you all should know, last week Friday saw Alex Rodriguez deliver a new intangible: hitting an un-catchable, almost un-trackable pop-up which allowed two baserunners to score and won the game 9-8.

In last night's game against the Florida Marlins, David Ortiz started off the fifth inning by popping up to third and his soul cried out anguish.

"View this cruel sight, world! This is a man buckling under the weight of the heavens and the expectations of a Nation. See how he falls! This is so much more dramatic than breaking your bat and jogging to first base."

But then the Marlins' third baseman Emilio Bonifacio dropped the ball and Ortiz made his way to first. I haven't seen the footage yet so I'm curious about how long he stood at the plate in agony and whether or not someone had to push him to first base to get there safely.

But the danger has arisen anyway as Ortiz has had the audacity to tie A-Rod for dropped pop-ups. Well, little does he know that the Yankees are playing the Marlins this weekend! That's three games for A-Rod to get his chance to pop-up to Bonifacio.

He'll be ready, Ortiz. You've paved the way for him to best you while you squandered your series against the Mets by having a total of 0 pop-ups dropped by Luis Castillo.

Watch yourself!

*To be fair, Gardner's inside-the-park homer is something we will never see this year from Ortiz unless zombies come pouring out of the stands and rip off the arms of all the outfielders and infielders and probably the pitcher and catcher as well as all the benched players of the opposing team.

This is exactly why I watch baseball.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 03:50:06 GMT

First Subway Series of 2009.

It's the bottom of the ninth and the Mets are up 8-7. K-Rod comes out to make the save for the Mets.

The Yankees start with the bottom of the order, Brett Gardner. Easy out for a man like K-Rod.

The top of the lineup, Derek Jeter, comes to the plate. Amazingly, even though nothing this man does should surprise us anymore, he gets a base hit. Okay. So we have the tying run on base with one out against K-Rod.

I'm still shaking and going through all my nervous tics.

Johnny Damon pinch hits for Nick Swisher. Damon wasn't in the game due to eye problems and fatigue in the past few.

I'm now sweating.

Damon works the count well considering he's not at his best and whom he's facing. He strikes out while Jeter steals second base.

Mark Teixeira comes up. Two outs now. Tex has become so integral to the Yankees and so natural that it feels like he's with the team a lot longer than less than half a season. He's an amazing hitter who can constantly be counted on to do something with the ball. Now that we've left April behind us, mind you.

This time, Tex holds back on K-Rod's feel-out pitches. He gets three balls and Mets manager Manuel gives the go ahead to walk Tex. That makes sense. K-Rod is good but pitching to Tex on a hitter's count is too dangerous with a one run lead.

That brings up A-Rod. (A-Rod faces K-Rod, Michael Kay inventively informs us.) Now we're still at two outs but with first and second manned.

By this point my heart is fluttering but I'm trying to play it cool. A-Rod isn't anywhere near his usual standards. He's been doing good but good is not where A-Rod peaks. Still, inside this A-Rod with a low batting average is the 'best baseball player in the world' as they like to say (or liked to say) who could come out and strike at any moment.

A-Rod doesn't go down easy but finally it comes. The most dreaded of hits in this situation.

Alex Rodriguez pops it up.

We all feel it. He slams his bat into the ground while performing the ritual run to first base. I'm torn between empathizing with him and wanting to shake him in order to get him back to greatness quicker.

The coverage quickly moves to the Mets' second baseman Castillo. He follows the ball and opens his mitt to end the game and give NYY a four-game losing streak. I know I should just walk away but you've got see the last out. You just do.

Here comes the ball.

In the glove.

AND RIGHT BACK OUT OF IT.

Derek Jeter scores. Mark Teixeira runs his ass off and reaches home safely. The Yankees win. I'm sure that John Sterling is warbling for his life in the Bronx.

A-Rod freaks the hell out. Like you do. The boys all jumble together in the way you only see on a walk-off win.

I think Yankee fans across the globe just wore out their vocal chords with all the screaming and laughing.

When something as magical as that happens, the entire game disappears. All the mistakes, concerns, frustrations, previous losses...there is only the win. The comeback, walk-off, out-of-nowhere, mystifying, glorious, all-powerful, the be-all and end-all W.

God bless The Mets!

(I just had to share for those of you who were not tuned in.)

A letter to the internet article responding public.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:32:45 GMT

What is it about Sarah Palin that brings out the raging misogyny in the majority of the population?

No matter what you think of her values, policies, and lifestyle--no matter how much her actions and opinions might offend you--that doesn't give anyone a free pass to demean her in the most sexist and horrifying terms. She doesn't deserve it. Neither do any of her children.

She's certainly not asking for it.

Next time try using your intelligence to deconstruct what bothers you. Otherwise, keep your fingers off the keyboard and go take a logic class.

(I would now like the internet to be rebooted now so I don't have to point out the painfully obvious.)

I will never love again.

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 02:52:33 GMT

And I don't believe in life after love.

Marvel was right!

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:28:00 GMT

Found via Subway Squawkers:

That would never have happened if he was still married to MJ.

I finally saw New Star Trek!

slightlymental5@gmail.com — Sat, 23 May 2009 22:14:56 GMT

I was the only person who laughed in the movie theater when Olson was squeeing for the mission with Kirk and Sulu. That is so wrong!

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I WANT NEW!VERSE TO GO ON FOREVER. MOVIES. TV. SEMPAHORE. I'LL TAKE IT.

*ahem* So, uh, where's the fic of:

1. McCoy penetrating Kirk some more. Yes, I am a 12 year old. But, no, really, there had better be more McCoy/Kirk than Kirk/Spock. Spock is so asexual with Kirk, while Kirk and McCoy are my perfect buddies with benefits dynamic. ♥

2. Uhura's (new) life story. I want biographies, people!

3. Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and Uhara hijinks that sometimes involve McCoy so Kirk is all, "I want to be part of the fun! Tell me about it. Let me in the clubhouse!"

And McCoy is annoyed by it all. "Look, you can't. You're the captain."

"But I'm fun."

"You're missing the point. As Captain, you're just not around for these things."

And then Kirk pouts for a while until he comes up with a plan to assimilate himself within the crew in order to be at the right places in the right times.