For autophanous:

The last paragraph from David Sedaris' piece "Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie?"

Grown or not, I still feel best--more true to myself--when dressed like a hobo. The die was cast for me on Halloween, and though it has certainly not been proven, I think it's this way for everyone. Look at my brother, who dressed as an ax murderer, and at my sister Amy, who went as confused prostitute. As for the other kids in my neighborhood, the witches and ghosts, the vampires, robots, and, oh God, the mummies, I can only hope that, like me, the work at home.

So, dear readers, what did you dress up as for Halloween in your wee years?